Chapter Nine: After the Drive-in
Tillie’s black Volvo EX60 pulled into the parking pad next to the carriage house. The first thing Maddie saw was Esme barging through the back door of her kitchen, clearly on a mission, Sosa and Sandberg on her heels.
“Uh oh,” Maddie said. “I was hoping to avoid any more human contact until tomorrow. But I’m glad we went out for ice cream first. That helped.” She reached in her pocket for one of the absurd number of napkins she had nabbed from the Dairy Grille and wiped a smudge of leftover Hurricane from her mouth.
“You’re welcome,” said Tillie. “I’m a strong believer in the healing power of Moose Tracks. Hey, who is this woman coming toward us like a torpedo and where did she get that to-die-for kimono she’s wearing?”
“That’s Aunt Esme. She’s got a gift for fashion. You two should talk. She’s the Diana Vreeland of thrifting. But not tonight. I just want to crash and lose consciousness for as long as possible. Please don’t say anything about what happened, OK?”
“Oh, Maddie, I’m so sorry,” Esme said as Maddie opened her car door.
“About what?” Maddie managed to ask in a normal voice.
“About Mary Ann Peebles showing up at the drive-in and George pulling that ridiculous stunt with the Bridemobile. That man never has been able to tell the difference between fun and buffoonery.”
Her last name is Peebles? OK, I would not have guessed that, thought Maddie. She wondered if her magical aunt might have a hidden crystal ball to keep tabs on her. “Esme, that happened about twenty minutes ago. How can you possibly know the details?”
Tillie got out of the car and smothered a laugh. “Really, Maddie? You haven’t noticed how small this town is?”
“Aunt Esme, this is my new intern, Tillie. You two probably hung out with Coco Chanel in another life. Esme designed costumes on Broadway. She moved here from New York and—”
“Lovely to meet you.” Esme shook hands with Tillie and then crossed her arms sternly. “Don’t change the subject. I was getting calls from friends before Mary Ann had even rejected her first fellow. Everyone knew who she’d pick.”
Maddie felt a chill creep over her. She had been focused on her own disappointment over Carlton. She hadn’t considered how this might affect how everyone else thought of her.
“Great! So, every baby boomer in Sweetgum is calling me a loser? Look, it doesn’t matter that she picked Carlton. We weren’t on a date. It was a work thing. He was introducing me to more people, so I can repair the crappy relationship this team has with the town. He was just being nice.”
She couldn’t look at Tillie, and she almost convinced herself that she sounded credible, but her aunt wasn’t buying it.
Esme rolled her eyes. “Lie to yourself if you must, but don’t lie to me. I’ve known Carlton since he was a Little Leaguer. When he brings out his sports car, it can only be one of three reasons. A parade, a day that cries out for a convertible, or he’s making the night special for someone. I think we all know which one it was tonight.”
“How about a beautiful night for a drive?” Maddie ventured. She still wanted to wriggle out of this encounter without any soul-baring. It was late, and she was ready to fall apart. She did not want to do that in front of her intern. “I mean there was a little rain,” she amended. “But otherwise, the weather was good.”
“For the love of God, will you stop it?” Tillie practically shouted. “What is so wrong with a situationship with a decent man? Maddie, he’s just your type. Kind, smart, and way too interested in a deeply boring sport.”
“Situationship?” Esme snickered. “That’s a new one. I like it.”
Maddie wasn’t amused. “Carlton is in love with a blonde goddess who’s an Olympic athlete and physicist,” she snapped. “If she were Mother Teresa’s daughter and modeled for Vogue while receiving her Nobel Prize, I wouldn’t be surprised.”
“Are you kidding me?” Esme snorted. “Mother Teresa wouldn’t give George Peebles the time of day. And Mary Ann is no paragon. She’s conventionally beautiful. I’ll give you that. Statuesque and well-proportioned. She really could model for a living.”
“If she weren’t already solving the mysteries of the universe!” Maddie countered with a bitter laugh. “Oh thanks. I’m feeling so much better now. Please continue telling me how much more attractive Mary Ann is than I am.”
Esme sidled up next to Maddie and patted her shoulder. “I never said that. I said she’s a conventional beauty, but predictable and frankly, a little cold. She’s been forced down a narrow path since she was a child. No chance to be herself. Frankly, I feel sorry for her, but I also find her dull as old dish water.”
Tillie chuckled and slapped the roof of her car. “I’d never guess you weren’t from the South, Esme. You’ve got our expressions down!”
“I appreciate the compliment—what’s your name? Tillie? Short for Matilda? Nice.” Esme made a fluttery motion with her hands. “But you girls know what I mean. George had a definite role for his daughter to play, and she’s done it with flying colors. She’s the perfect, gorgeous, brilliant child, but Mary Ann lacks her own passion. Frankly, her looks are what most people care about. You know what I mean, Tillie.”
“Esme!” Maddie choked out. “Why are you insulting my friend?”
Tillie flashed the tiniest hint of a grin when she heard Maddie refer to her as a friend. “No offense taken. I know exactly what she means. Believe me, when you're born looking like me, you figure out very quickly what the expectations are. They’re all about presentation. How I look is paramount. That’s how people judge me. Not my intellect or character. Well, I got that rule book and found it boring. Almost as boring as all the regulations in baseball. Like do they really need the 45-foot rule?”
“Aww,” Maddie cooed. “You know about the 45-foot rule!”
Tillie chewed on a nail and mumbled something. It was so unlike her usual forthright self. Maddie was taken aback. “Sorry, what did you say? Did you mention something about an obscure baseball rule? Because that would be so awesome!”
“I know every single baseball rule by heart. I’m memorious.”
“You’re what?” Maddie asked.
Tillie shrugged. “I have excellent recall. A tenacious memory. I thought it would be a good idea to know that stuff before I came here. The Carolina Legal Code was more scintillating.”
“Wow. You’re going to be a terrifying lawyer,” Maddie said.
“I don’t know. Hey, we were talking about you and Carlton!”
“Thank you, Tillie.” Esme hooked her arm around Maddie’s and pulled her toward the carriage house. Let’s go inside and have something cool to drink. I am far from finished with the subject at hand!” She whistled to get the beagles’ attention. They looked up and trotted back beside her.
Maddie sighed and unlocked the door. She felt a sharp pang in her gut when she thought about how much she had wanted to share all the romantic details of the drive-in with her aunt before the arrival of the Bridemobile. She trudged up the stairs and turned on the lights in her loft. “What can I get everyone to drink?”
“Sit down, Boss!” Tillie strode over to the small vintage fridge in the kitchenette. “I’ll take the drink orders.”
“Just sparkling water for me,” Esme said.
Tillie opened the refrigerator door. “No way! I have never met anyone who drinks Yoo-hoo, much less buys it.”
“Don’t knock it!” Maddie objected. “Yoo-hoo is a very satisfying drink after a lousy day. In fact, I could use one right now.”
“Darling niece!” Esme rearranged her messy bun and reset the chopsticks in her hair. “I do hope you got them at the Piggly Wiggly.”
Maddie feigned shock. “How can you even ask? I wouldn’t dream of getting groceries anywhere else.”
Tillie pulled out a tray and brought the bottles, along with three etched glasses full of ice. Maddie couldn’t help but smile when she observed that Tillie had picked a Yoo-hoo, too.
“Love the glasses, Mads. I’m happy to see you’re figuring out your style,” Esme clinked drinks with the other two women. “And speaking of style, back to you and Mary Ann. She’s so flawless it’s disturbing. You, on the other hand, are cute as a bug on a rug.”
Maddie groaned. “Oh, I’m sure Carlton finds buggy rugs attractive.”
“Ah ha!” Tillie raised her Yoo-hoo in triumph. “You admit that it matters who he likes, and you want it to be you. Don’t deny it. Or argue. You’re right that I could be a killer prosecutor, and I’d wipe the floor with you.”
“Objection!” sputtered Maddie.
“Overruled!” answered Esme.
“Fine, I plead the Fifth.” Maddie sank back on the couch. Both Sosa and Sandberg picked that moment to climb into her lap and offer canine comfort.
“Come on, sweetie.” Esme urged. “It’s OK. Why shouldn’t you be with Carlton? Tillie’s right. You’re a good match.”
“It’s much more than that,” Maddie confessed. And maybe because she was exhausted and tired of holding in her strongest emotions, she told the story of meeting Carlton at Wrigley Field.
When she finished, she had that empty wobbly feeling of just having thrown up.
“Whoa!” Tillie said. “Hardcore.”
“Oh, honey!” Esme took a breath and exhaled dramatically. “That’s something. How weird that your mystery man lived in the same town as me all this time. If only I had known sooner, maybe I could have brought you together before now.”
“Doesn’t matter. It’s over now. I’m not in the Mary Ann League. She’s in the Show and I’m… Designated for Assignment.”
“Don’t you dare say that!” Esme spat back. “You’ve got your mother’s enviable hair that curls like a dream in this humidity. I’d kill for your natural, sun-kissed highlights and those luxurious, long legs! You’re a catch, baby!”
Tillie drained her Yoo-hoo and toasted Esme. “You said it! And she hardly has to wear any makeup! It’s really unfair. She always has rosy cheeks and that adorable little sunburn on her nose.”
“True. I wish she’d wear just a bit of mascara, though. It would make her eyes pop.”
“Agreed!”
Esme scooted over toward Tillie, and Maddie wondered if they had forgotten she was actually in the room.
“I was thinking if she wore gold jewelry every once in a while, it would bring out the gold flecks in her eyes,” Esme confided.
Tillie tilted her head and studied Maddie’s face. “Uh huh! I can see that! And I like how she’s got nice muscles, but also shapely curves. And what a rack!”
Esme hooted. “I know! I gave her a gift certificate for new bras once she moved here. I’m so glad she used it. She needed better support.”
“Would you two stop!” Maddie’s face was bright red. “This is getting to be a bit much.”
“All right,” Esme said. “But you know we’re right. Would Carlton rather snuggle up with someone warm, loving, and built like you or shiver with Miss Perfect Ice Princess all night? Even Sosa and Sandberg know the answer to that.” The dogs barked their approval.
Tillie put on her best superior smirk. “Plus, he didn’t put a ring on it. I say the field is still wide open. I don’t think you should automatically fold. What you described with him that day in Chicago—that’s rare. You can’t just dismiss it. Even if you did blow it. What were you thinking about the stupid train?”
“I know, right? I was an idiot. Believe me, I haven’t forgiven myself.”
“That’s not the point. The point is, you and Carlton have some kind of cosmic connection, and you shouldn’t just throw it away!” Esme got up and perched next to Maddie on the couch, smoothing the hair out of her face. “And I’ll tell you why I have never understood Carlton and Mary Ann as a couple. She doesn’t even like baseball. Now you know that won’t work in the long run. Admit it.”
Maddie bent over and rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands. She felt depleted, and she didn’t know what else to say. While she was grateful for the cheerleading, there were things she couldn’t explain right now. Not the least of which were the crushing memories of her disastrous grad school love—who was now an All-Star shortstop for the Dodgers. Gabriel “The Archangel” Bella and all his many hidden girlfriends came flying back to haunt her when Mary Ann chose Carlton at the drive-in.
“You’re both wonderful,” Maddie said. “Thank you. It means a lot. Truly. I want you to know that I’m not trying to put myself down. But I am trying to become the first female GM for the Chicago Cubs. That’s the most important thing to me. And to your point Tillie, Carlton did try to put a ring on it. He proposed to Mary Ann. She couldn’t say yes because she got a job at the freaking Super Collider in Switzerland! Which is a whole other thing. She is not just a pretty face. She’s incredibly smart. But putting that aside, Vinny told me Carlton’s still in love with her. Obviously, they still need to work some things out, and I don’t want to get caught in the middle of it.”
“And you believe Vinny?” Tillie started laughing uncontrollably. “I doubt the guy has been on a date in the past few years. Or ever!”
“Who the hell is Vinny?” asked Esme.
“Podcaster. Sportswriter,” Maddie explained.
That sent Esme into gales of laughter, too.
“Don’t make fun of Vinny! He’s a soft, gooey marshmallow underneath that awkward, cynical …uh…burnt marshmallow shell. Sorry I messed up my metaphor there, but you get my point.” Maddie finished her Yoo-hoo and fell back on the couch. “Now seriously, I have to go to bed, or I’ll be useless tomorrow. You’re both fabulous, but I’m saying good night.” She yawned. Her eyes were burning, begging to close.
Esme relented and walked Tillie back to her car. Maddie heard the beagles yowling farewell, then the Volvo departing. She watched her aunt turn off the lights inside her house. She barely had enough energy to brush her teeth and throw on her Cubs T-shirt from the 2016 World Series that said “I Ain’t Afraid of No Goat” before falling into bed. She was so worn out she couldn’t cry a single tear. She was out cold within five minutes, but the night wasn’t over yet.
***
Maddie woke up shaking and drenched in sweat. She was having one of her classic anxiety dreams about a big event that was about to start. She hadn’t finished the preparations, but people were already showing up.
“Maddie!” Disappointed guests called her name, but she didn’t have what they needed and couldn’t move fast enough to get it.
She rolled on her back, kicked off the covers, and let the ceiling fan cool her damp face.
It's OK, she soothed herself. Just a nightmare. Her response to bad dreams was to imagine that she was floating at Murphy’s Lake, a swimming pool made from an old rock quarry that she had loved growing up. She spread her limbs out on the bed as if it were water and stared at the ceiling like it was an open summer sky. Clouds shaped like huge scoops of ice cream sailed by in her mind. She had nothing to do but relax and enjoy the sun on her face.
“Maddie!” a muffled voice penetrated the French doors that led to a minuscule balcony just outside her bedroom. It was an architectural oddity on the carriage house. Esme had mentioned it when Maddie moved in. Her aunt claimed it was there “in case you need an Evita! moment at some point.” Maddie said she couldn’t imagine that she would, but she thought the balcony was cute.
“Jesus Christ!” Maddie sat up clutching a pillow to her chest. Someone was out there in the dark. What time was it anyway? She made a groggy grab for her phone and saw that it was after two in the morning. “Noooo,” she groaned, “Just no.”
Thud! Something soft hit the window.
“What the…?” Maddie pulled herself out of bed. She was just awake enough to realize she was only wearing bikini undies and a T-shirt, so she slipped on a short robe and opened one side of the French doors. On the balcony was one of the beagle’s chew toys, a squeaky squid. She stepped on it, and the plastic animal made a high-pitched whine as she leaned over and squinted into the blackness below.
“Thank God you’re awake!” The voice was Carlton’s. “I know it’s too late and I shouldn’t be here, but I had to see you. Can I come up for a minute?”
“Carlton? I wasn’t awake. I was fast asleep, and you woke me up. Thank you very much!” This was the last thing Maddie wanted. She had had enough, and she didn’t feel up to hearing his Mary Ann love story and excuses.
“But it’s important. I didn’t want tonight to end the way it did. I want to apologize. I had no idea Mary Ann was back in town. I thought she wanted out of Sweetgum. For good.”
“You don’t have to apologize. I understand. Vinny explained it all to me. But I’d rather not revisit it, OK? Please just … go home.”
“And you believed Vinny?” said Carlton.
“Why is everyone so mean about Vinny? Does no one else see that he’s remarkably observant and unflinchingly honest? He could be a great writer. I mean it. So, I think we’re finished. Good night!”
“Oh well, that’s just fine!” Carlton said sharply. “Maybe you should go out with Vinny!”
“No, he’s too young for me for one thing, and for another I really shouldn’t be dating the press when I’m the PR person. Even if this isn’t the Cubs and the Sun-Times. I shouldn’t have gone out with you. Tonight was a mistake. My bad. I’m glad Mary Ann is back. She’s brilliant, beautiful, and you’re still in love with her, so everything is … groovy!” She regretted using the word “groovy,” but it was too late to take it back.
Carlton stood directly under the balcony, and she could see his face in the moonlight, pleading, heartbreakingly handsome and believable. “But I need to see you. All I’m asking for is five minutes. Don’t let this be like the Red Line at Addison again. Please!”
Maddie wanted to let him in. His persistence was shredding her will. She wanted him to apologize, to say he wanted to be with her alone, to kiss her again and not have to stop. She wanted him to spend the night, even though it was much too soon, and wake with his arms wrapped around her. But all of that was weak and stupid. She had to be strong and smart.
Maddie tightened the robe’s belt around her waist and leaned on the balcony rail. “Did you or did you not ask Mary Ann to marry you?”
“I did, but she rejected me. And I would never have proposed if I had known I would see you again. I know it’s a romantic cliché, but I feel like I’ve been waiting for you for a very long time. It’s powerful. It’s real. Do you know how much I wanted to be with you tonight? How happy I was that we could kiss again and just talk and laugh together again. Yes, I have a history with Mary Ann, but —”
“That’s all I need to know.” Maddie cut him off. “Actually, I have a rule about not dating ball players which I should have followed. Believe me, I’ve been there and done that. And something that is one hundred-percent UNACCEPTABLE is layering women!”
“Layering? What’s that?” Carlton looked confused.
“It means having one girlfriend, telling her she’s the one, but there’s always someone else— sometimes more than one person—waiting in the wings or behind the scenes. Being led on. That’s not OK with me. Understand? I deserve better than that! So, you really need to leave now and get right with Mary Ann. Figure out why she’s back and what she wants. I think it’s pretty clear that she’s rethinking your proposal. She dressed as a bride and chose you to be on the Bridemobile! What more does she have to say? Good night!”
“But I didn’t even know she was here!” Carlton shouted. “I’m not layering. And I’m not leaving you either. Do I seem like that kind of guy? I’m such a straight arrow that I was always the designated driver when the other guys in the ballclub were getting lit and hooking up. I was the studious, responsible one who never missed curfew. You know what they called me? Dumblesnore! Would I make that up? Does that sound anything like toxic masculinity?"
Maddie held her stomach to keep from laughing. She couldn’t give into charm, and Dumblesnore was charming, she had to admit. But going out with Carlton tonight had led to heartache, chaos, and no sleep. And that was just in the last few hours. She heard Esme and Tillie telling her not to give up on Carlton, but that didn’t seem practical. She didn’t answer him, unsure how to proceed.
“Hey!” Carlton waved up at her. “It just hit me that we have a Shakespearean balcony scene going on here. How many times is that ever going to happen in your life? Seriously, this is amazing! Utterly amazing things happen when we’re together. Doesn’t that mean something? This is too good to pass up.”
Carlton got down on one knee. “O, speak again bright angel, for thou art as glorious to this night, being o’er my head, as a winged messenger of heaven.”
Maddie had to laugh. “What am I supposed to do with that?” She sank down on her knees and leaned over the little balcony. Deep down, she was swooning that he was reciting Romeo and Juliet to her. She had loved the play since reading it in British Lit, her favorite high school English class. She knew most of the scene by heart.
Carlton stood up again and sprinted out of sight. His “Ah ha!” was followed by a metallic clanking. Before she knew it, Carlton had leaned an aluminum ladder against the carriage house and was climbing up.
“Next line is yours,” he said. “Maybe the most famous in all of Shakespeare. You can do it. I know you can. Romeo, Romeo … you know the rest. You can insert my name if you are so inspired, but our families aren’t feuding with each other. So, it doesn’t make much sense. Up to you. God, Maddie… I just love being here with you.”
His face was just underneath hers. An owl hooted in the distance, egging them on, Maddie thought. The night was humid and heavy and smelled of lilac. It was impossible to resist. She reached out and stroked his cheek.
“If thou wilt not be sworn my love, I’ll no longer be a Cubs fan.” She smiled at her joke and kissed him softly, even though her rational self was yelling at her to quit.
He grinned back, barely moving his lips from hers and countered, “Call me but love and I’ll be new baptized. Henceforth, I never will be a Sox fan.”
They both laughed.
“This is insane,” said Maddie. “Two baseball fanatics who both memorized the balcony scene! What are the odds?”
“That’s exactly what I mean about us. The odds are astronomical! It’s undeniable.” Carlton kissed her harder.
Maddie’s heart was racing, way out of control. She wanted so much to bring him inside with her, but she shouldn’t. This had to be the last time anything like this happened.
Suddenly he pulled back in pain. “Ow! What the hell?”
“You get out and leave my niece alone!”
Maddie let go of Carlton and turned on the outdoor spotlight. It illuminated her Aunt Esme holding some sort of weapon.
“Aunt Esme! Oh my God! Don’t shoot anyone!”
“It's the Hot Dog Cannon,” said Carlton rubbing his neck. “She shot me with a damn potato pellet. Hey Esme! That hurts! You could kill somebody with that thing!”
“Put it down!” Maddie shouted. “Please!”
“Carlton?” Esme lowered her weapon. “Oops! I thought you were Cooper.”
“You mean the guy who plays Sal, the mascot?” Maddie asked, barely able to hide her disgust. “What would he be doing here?”
Esme crossed the lawn. “Excuse me, but this is just his kind of gig. I figured he heard about what happened at the drive-in. Or he was there and saw it and decided to make his move on you, Maddie. And I was not about to let that slimy…”
Just then the back door of the adjoining duplex banged and Cooper ran out. He was wearing shorts and no shirt.
“What’s with all the shouting out here?” Cooper demanded.
“Get on inside, Cooper. Nothing to see here.” Esme shooed him away, but he stood looking slightly slack-jawed and holding his phone which had its flashlight on. He turned the beam up to Maddie’s balcony.
“Is that Carlton?” Cooper asked. “What’s going on? Is there a fire or something? Did a smoke alarm go off and you’re the volunteer fire department tonight or what?”
“Nope.” Carlton did not offer any further explanation.
“The only fire around here is the one I am going to light under your behind unless you leave right now,” Esme told Cooper.
“Sheesh Esme, don’t get your panties in a wad. I was just trying to get some shut eye, and all hell breaks loose out here. I have a right to know what’s going on in my shared backyard, don’t I?”
“Hello, Cooper! Uh, hi there!” Maddie waved hoping to defuse her aunt. “This is not how I hoped we would meet, but I’m Madison Fields. Maddie. New PR person with the Manders.”
“Well, hell-LO!” replied Cooper with a distinct leer that turned Maddie’s stomach. “Yeah, I’ve been chomping at the bit to meet you. We should get together for a chat. I have a lot of ideas about how to improve my brand.”
“Cooper, she’s not interested in you or your brand. Go to bed.” Esme waved the Hot Dog Cannon. “Don’t make me use this.”
“Give me a break,” Cooper oozed faux charm. “We‘re colleagues. It’s great to meet you, Maddie! I can tell we’re going to get along.”
“This has gone straight to hell,” Carlton whispered to Maddie. “Can we talk tomorrow? The Grand Lunch?”
Maddie shook her head and kept her voice down. “I don’t think so. I really think you should work things out with Mary Ann first. Thanks for all you did to help me tonight. I hope we can continue this … favorable working relationship.”
“Favorable working relationship?” he repeated. The hurt in his eyes almost killed her, but she was sure she was doing the right thing. Finally!
“OK,” he said. “For now. But just know…”
“Good night,” she stuck out her hand. He took it with both of his hands and held it.
“I’m so sorry about everything, Maddie.”
“Me, too.”
Carlton climbed back down the ladder. “Well, everything’s checked out here,” he said to Cooper and a bemused Esme. “I’m the new neighborhood watch … guy. And I thought there was a break-in over here. But everything’s fine now. See y’all later. Have a good night.” Carlton climbed down the ladder and placed it back up against the garage.
“That makes no sense,” Cooper said. “What gives?”
Carlton got in his car and drove out of sight. Maddie couldn’t tell if she was relieved or completely heartbroken.
“Good night, Cooper!’ Esme said firmly.
“Yeah sure. See you tomorrow, Maddie. Looking forward to it!”
“Great!” Maddie said, and Cooper left with a jaunty salute.
“Are you OK? Wanna talk?” Esme asked.
“I most definitely do not. I want to sleep.”
“Suit yourself. Goodnight, sweetie. We’ll talk later, though. You’ve got some serious stuff going on. You need help.”
“I need valium,” said Maddie.
“How about some chamomile tea then? I can put the kettle on. You know I’m a night owl.”
“NO! I mean no, thank you. Sorry.”
Esme held up her hands in surrender. “All right, honey. But I’m telling you right now. This is not over!” With that, her silky kimono flitted in the fading moonlight, and she went back inside to howling beagles.
“It’s over!” Maddie shouted after her aunt. She locked the French doors, dumped her robe on the floor, and threw herself on the bed. “It really is over,” she said, trying hard to convince herself, before falling into a strange and restless sleep.
BEAGLE INSPIRATION
June (above) is author Laura Younkin’s dog, and her Beagle Love is an inspiration for Sosa and Sandberg. According to the American Kennel Club, not only is the beagle an excellent hunting dog and loyal companion, it is also happy-go-lucky, funny, and—thanks to its pleading expression—cute. Beagles were bred to hunt in packs, so they enjoy company and are generally easygoing.
WEIRD BASEBALL RULES
What is the 45-foot rule that Tillie mentions? Also called the “runner’s lane rule,” it requires a batter running to first base to stay within a 3-foot wide lane in foul territory for the final 45 feet of their run to first base from home plate. If the runner goes outside the lines and interferes with a fielder taking a throw, the batter is out. It only applies when the ball is fielded near home plate and the throw is coming from that area to first base.
Baseball is full of weird rules. It’s actually possible for a pitcher to get a strike out without throwing a single pitch. Here’s how: A pitcher gets two strikes on the batter. Then, for whatever reason, the manager brings in a new pitcher. The other manager counters with a new batter, who inherits the two-strike count. The new pitcher throws a strike, and the new batter is out. But the former pitcher, who threw TWO strikes, gets the KO...against the batter he never faced!
Another odd rule (and a famous case of rulebreaking) is the one that permits managers who get ejected to sit in the stands—as long as he wears street clothes and sits far away from his team’s dugout or bullpen. In 1999, New York Mets manager, Bobby Valentine, was tossed from a game but returned to the dugout in disguise wearing sunglasses and a fake mustache.
He was caught on camera by the TV announcers. MLB suspended Valentine for two games and fined him $5000.
PIGGLY WIGGLY: NOT JUST ANY GROCERY STORE
Founded in 1916 by Clarence Saunders in Memphis, Tennessee, Piggly Wiggly was America’s first true self-service grocery. Saunders never offered an explanation of how he came up with the name other than he thought it would be memorable. The stores are prominent in the American South but also exist in the Midwest.
BASEBALL INSPIRATION
The “I Ain’t Afraid of No Goat” shirt comes from the Cubs legendary “billy goat curse” crossed with the fact that Ghostbusters (“I Ain’t Afraid of No Ghost”) star Bill Murray is a big Cubs fan. He was seen in the stands wearing the T-shirt throughout the 2016 playoffs and World Series.
Here’s the story of the curse: Curse of the Billygoat? - Chicago Cubs
PLAYLIST
