Chapter Eighteen: Love Notes
Carlton and Maddie were alone in the players’ rec room, long after everyone else had left the clubhouse and stadium. She felt guilty being with him because she knew that her intentions were far from platonic. In her defense, the Harry Potter extravaganza had been exhausting. When Carlton offered to stay and help afterward, she accepted gratefully. She figured he could meet up with Mary Ann later if he wanted to, but somehow the time had slipped away. The cleanup work was finished, and it was nearly ten o’clock at night.
Maddie sat down next to Carlton on a sagging, burnt-orange couch that looked like it had been in the room since the 1960s. They had pilfered some bourbon from Jake Levinger’s office, and they each had a glass. This would be the ideal time to talk honestly with him. She should do it right now. Rip off the Band-aid. It was quiet and no one else was around. Only she couldn’t figure out how to start.
“So, what’s my present?” Carlton asked.
“Present?”
“You said something about an opportunity. You were going to tell me after the game?”
“Oh right!” Maddie couldn't believe she had forgotten to share the news. She had been consumed by her own thoughts and revelations. What a relief! This was a conversation she wanted to have, and she could put the other scary conversation off a little longer.
“Well, I was talking to Will Farmer, our play-by play-announcer."
“Yeah, I know who he is.”
“Of course you do. Anyway, he needs to take some time off during the July Fourth homestand. I mentioned that you’re interested in broadcasting. And please don’t be mad, but I said you’d be great as a substitute. He loved the idea! He listens to your podcast. Long story short, the gig is yours if you want it. We’ll be playing the Iowa Cubs again. You’d be on for all six games. We can record it, and you’ll have an audition tape.”
Carlton set down his glass and sat very still.
“Are you upset, Carlton? I would have asked you first, but I just seized the moment and—”
Maddie nearly spilled her bourbon when Carlton grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. He held her against him, and now it made her very nervous. She felt like she was doing something wrong and that was awful. She moved back to create more space between them.
“Upset? Maddie, I can’t believe you did this! You don’t mess around do you? I should have known you don’t give small presents. You give great big over-the-top, make-a-wish gifts!” He hugged her again. “Thank you. But won’t Rory object? Or Monty? I’m not exactly friendly to this franchise.”
“Rory’s never around. Since I’m doing most of his work, I doubt he’ll even notice. And Monty Ortzelbean isn’t a micromanager. This is too small for a billionaire to bother with. But it’s a win-win for us. You want the experience, and I need a talented, knowledgeable broadcaster who knows all about the team.”
Carlton ran his fingers through his hair and fell back against the couch. “I’ve got to let this sink in. God, to be up there in the booth with Dad! As the play-by-play guy. Dad always wanted to try broadcasting, too. But never took the leap. This is a dream come true, Maddie. But that’s what you do, isn't it? Make dreams come true. For this whole freaking town!"
He hugged her again, and she didn’t want to keep backing away. She had to say something. She just had to.
“I’m so happy for you, Carlton! This is the first step in a brilliant career. I feel it deep in my bones. But… I’m not sure how to say this. Can I talk to you about something else?” Her hands were shaking.
“Anything. You know that.”
Maddie swore to herself. She still couldn’t make herself speak. No opening statement sounded right to her. She was afraid of saying the wrong thing, afraid of messing up badly, which she knew she was more than capable of doing. The radio was on in the background, and Maddie recognized the lead-in music for WZAZ-AM’s late-night talk show, Love Notes. She turned up the radio. “Really Love to See You Tonight” oozed over the tinny speaker:
Hello yeah, it’s been a while. Not much, how about you?
I’m not sure why I called. I guess I really just wanted to talk to you.
The music faded to the background and a sultry voice crooned, “Hey there. It’s Nina DiCaro, and welcome to Love Notes, where we play the best of yacht rock and offer positive dating advice in a cozy, late-night listening environment. I’m so glad you’re here with me. To unwind with mellow melodies and get tips on healthy relationships—for smoother sailing on life’s stormy seas.”
Carlton laughed. “What in the hell are we listening to?”
Maddie was grateful for another distraction. “Don’t tell me you’ve never heard Love Notes! I listen all the time. I’m always up late and I love the host—Nina DiCaro. She’s so cool in person, and she actually gives good advice.” Maddie wished she could ask Nina for some advice right now.
“You’ve met her?”
“She was at the Grand Lunch one day, and we chatted. I asked if WZAZ might become a sponsor.”
Carlton smiled. “Of course you did.”
The song “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)” came on. Maddie stood up, stretched her legs, and began a swaying dance. Her tight muscles relaxed, and the pressure she felt about confronting Carlton subsided a little. Her whole body floated on soft waves of smarmy music, and she was enjoying it. Maybe Nina was onto something with the power of yacht rock.
“Ugh! This is terrible!” Carlton took a glug of bourbon. “Somebody please put them out of their misery. Or better yet, turn off the radio and put me out of my misery.”
Maddie stopped dancing and tossed back her drink. “No need to be so dramatic, Professor. If you’re not a yacht rock fan, you can say so politely. Nina’s big on kindness.”
“Did you say yacht rock? Does that mean pretty-boy bands on luxury boats or…?”
“Seriously? You’ve never heard of yacht rock? And how old are you? Were you raised under a rock?”
“Well, apparently not a yacht rock.”
Maddie groaned. “That was terrible.”
“Actually, I was raised with musical standards. Not subjected to this middle-of-the-road torture.”
“Yacht rock isn’t torture. It has a whole vibe. It’s like… Sailing. The ocean. Fruity drinks with tiny umbrellas. Lounging on the beach. Watching the…”
“Yachts rock?”
Maddie giggled and went back to dancing, moving her arms like she was swimming in a luxurious pool. Exhaustion, anxiety, and bourbon were hitting her all at once. She decided to let this evening take its own course. Don’t force a discussion with Carlton. Just… sail away.
The next song in Nina’s set was another favorite in the genre, “Sara Smile”.
Carlton listened and his forehead puckered. Maddie thought the puckering was sexy and wondered if that was weird.
“Sara Smile?” he asked. “Nope, this is more like Sara Bile.”
“What does Simone Biles have to do with anything?” Maddie joked. “This is a deeply moving song about getting a woman named Sara to—”
“Vomit?” Carlton offered.
Maddie punched his arm. “That’s so mean! Yacht rock is fun, and Nina’s a wonderful host. Wait and see. Besides, you were a jock. I’m sure you listened to all kinds of crap music in the locker room.”
“We played classic rock. Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, AC/DC. This music doesn’t deserve the word ‘rock’ in the title. It should be called Not Rock. Or Rot Rock.”
Maddie ended her imaginary swim and flopped back on the couch. An idea popped into her head that did not have to do with revealing her most intimate desires to Carlton. That was a welcome change, and this was the wildest promotional idea she had ever conceived. Just the thought of it made her start laughing.
“What?” Carlton asked. “My joke wasn’t that funny.”
“I know!”
“Oh, thanks!”
“No, that wasn’t an insult. It’s—I just came up with the final event for you to pay off our bet. I hope you know The Pina Colada Song, because you’re going to lead a sing-along for all of Sweetgum.”
“For one thing, I don’t know that song, and for another, the population of Sweetgum would never want to hear me sing. Why?”
“That’s the best part! Wait—you don’t know The Pina Colada Song? I’m sorry but that’s not possible.”
“Maybe vaguely. I might’ve heard the title.”
Maddie extracted herself from the couch and bounced around the room. “This is going to be the biggest night of the year so far. I can see the whole thing in my head.”
“Whatever you’re cooking up, I doubt it will be the biggest night of the year.”
“Yes, it will. And don’t you doubt my promotional abilities!”
Carlton took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’ve learned never to doubt your abilities or just about anything about you.” He picked up his phone and sighed. “OK, let’s hear The Pina Colada Song.”
Maddie turned down the radio so they could listen.
“No, I protest,” Carlton said firmly. “This song is awful. So, this guy is answering a tacky personal ad from another woman? While he’s in bed with his wife? That’s gross. Plus, he calls her his ‘old lady’? You could not pay me enough to do this. What the heck? And now he’s going to meet this other woman in a bar and—”
“Wait for it. There’s an O. Henry-like plot twist coming.”
“Yeah, I can’t believe that.” Carlton paused and followed the lyrics on his phone. “Oh please! The woman in the tacky ad turns out to be his wife?”
Maddie couldn’t answer because she was laughing too hard. Carlton mimed gagging and put his phone away.
“You have to hear at least one caller on Love Notes. Come on. Let’s listen.” Maddie turned up the radio again. The bourbon was really kicking in now and it helped. She poured a second glass and took a slurp.
Olivia Newton-John singing “Magic” from Xanadu faded, and Nina DiCaro said, “Welcome to ‘Love Notes,’ I see you’re a first-time caller.”
“That’s right. I’m, uh, Coop—I mean, Cal. Yeah, Cal.”
“Oookay, Cal. What seems to be the problem?” Nina asked in her calm, reassuring voice.
“I’m having trouble figuring out a … female friend, Sal—Callie. Callie. Sometimes she seems into me. Sometimes she ignores me or she’s hostile, and other times I have no idea what she’s going to do. I’m really confused.”
Maddie shot Carlton a look. “No way.”
“Yes way. I know that voice. It’s Cooper Kinsman, AKA Sal the Salamander,” Carlton said as he turned the volume up a little more. “And he’s calling to get advice about Sally?”
“What the hell? At least we know his sleazy Gilderoy Lockhart scheme must’ve bombed. Sounds like Cooper’s home alone and hitting the spiked butterbeer pretty hard.”
“Shh!” Carlton said. “I want to hear what he says.”
“Can you give me a little more detail?” Nina asked. “Have you talked about what you want this relationship to be?”
“We’d agreed at the beginning to go slowly. Let the romance simmer. But these ups and downs are too crazy. I just want her to love me, and I hate all the mood swings.” When Nina didn’t reply, Cooper cleared his throat. “Well, I guess that’s about all. Thanks for listening,” he said, then hung up.
Once Maddie started laughing again, she couldn’t stop, and Carlton was the same.
“OK, I apologize. You’re right,” Carlton said, holding his stomach. “This is the best show I’ve ever heard on the radio!”
Maddie caught her breath and took another sip of bourbon. “Correct me if I’m wrong but, that self-involved reptile—”
“Amphibian.”
Maddie shook her head. “You know reptiles from amphibians, but you never heard of yacht rock. Fine. That self-involved amphibian is whining about Sally not falling all over him? Boo hoo! ‘I’m so wonderful and I can’t get what I want!’ God, he’s so full of himself!”
“Call into the show and say that,” Carlton challenged. “Say you’re Sally. Or Callie. And give your side of the story. I dare you.”
“No! That would be hilarious, though.”
“You seem perfectly willing to embarrass me in the name of helping the Sliding Salamanders, but you won’t take this free PR opportunity that’s just dropped into your lap?”
“OK, OK!” Maddie pulled out her phone and dialed. She spoke to Nina’s screener and was put through immediately. Her heart was racing, and a million thoughts about what to say crisscrossed her mind. She hoped she wouldn’t regret this.
Nina’s melodious alto greeted her. “I believe we have a special guest on the line. Hi, Callie. What’s on your mind tonight?”
Maddie spoke in a lilting Southern accent. “Well, hello there, Nina! I’m just tickled pink to be on your show. I’m such a big fan. And I know how you feel about honest communication, so I had to phone in and set the record straight. That last caller was full of baloney!”
“Strong words. What do you mean by that?”
“I mean he was pulling your leg and lying to boot! And I won’t be slandered by some smooth-talking salamander.”
“Did you say salamander? Is that metaphorical?”
“No ma’am. That caller was really Sal the Salamander, mascot of the Sliding Salamanders. And I’m Sally the Salamander. Not Callie. I’m the new female mascot. But apparently, Sal thinks I should automatically fall all over him! Just because we’re the only two exceptionally tall salamanders—who wear human clothes—probably in the world. He thinks he’s Darwin’s gift!”
“I hear your frustration, Sally,” Nina said with only a slight hint of amusement at Maddie’s revelation. “Now what would you like to tell Sal? What can he do that you’d really appreciate?”
Maddie was having a hard time not breaking character, but she managed—so long as she didn’t look at Carlton. “Honestly Nina, any sort of romantic gesture would be just dandy. Champagne. Flowers. Chocolates. Or freeze-dried worms are good for us salamanders.”
“I believe you’re the first caller to request freeze-dried worms,” Nina deadpanned. “But I always say, be curious, not judgmental.”
“Absolutely! Sal doesn’t have to spend any money either. He could write a poem or better yet, compose a love song and sing it on the field.”
“You’ve certainly given him a lot of options. Sal, if you’re listening, don’t be overwhelmed. Have fun with this.”
“If your listeners want to see how things turn out between us, head over to sliding salamanders-dotcom and come out to a game. Bleacher seats are only five dollars.”
“Sounds like quite a show. Thanks for the call, Sally.”
“My pleasure, Nina! I really love your show. See y’all at the Pickle Jar! Bye-bye!”
Maddie ended the call and made eye contact with Carlton. He pressed his hands together and bowed to her. “That was brilliant. ‘Darwin’s gift!’ Where did that come from? Were you in some kind of mascot improv group in college?”
“That would have been awesome! But no. I was just saying whatever came into my head.”
“Well, you were killing it! Sally should call again. And I kind of get it. The music sucks, but Nina’s a first-class host. It was great the way she played along with you.”
“She’d be the best host and sponsor for my yacht rock-speed dating event. Her voice and personality would charm everyone. And she has a huge audience. Oh, this could really work.”
Carlton grimaced. “Yacht rock and speed dating? Two things I can’t stand.”
“But that’s my big idea! Yacht Rock-Speed Dating Night at the ballpark. With Nina as the emcee. And you, singing The Pina Colada Song. It’ll give single fans a new way to meet each other. Nina’s very active with the LGBTQ-plus community, too. This would be a totally inclusive event. I know it’s bonkers, but it could be really fun.”
“Bonkers is the word all right. I suppose I don’t have a choice, do I?”
“Not really. You still owe me one event. But on the plus side, it’ll be a once-in-a-lifetime experience.”
“We can only hope.” Carlton closed his eyes, stretched, and yawned. “Well, I’m bushed. Come on. I’ll drive you home.”
“No, it’s OK. I’ll take Harriet.”
“This late at night? It’s not safe. What’s wrong? You were going to talk to me about something before Love Notes. Is someone giving you a hard time? Is it Cooper? Want me to kick his ass? Just say the word.”
“I can’t tell you. Not tonight. I’m sorry.” Everything Carlton was saying made Maddie want him more. Tears of frustration started in her eyes, and she rubbed them away, feigning sleepiness. “I’m just tired. Thanks for all you did today. You and Mary Ann were spectacular. But I need to go home and crash now.”
“Maddie, of course you’re exhausted! Today was a gigantic effort, but you succeeded. We all did. With everyone pitching in—we did something that I didn’t think was possible without any money. We started changing the culture and rebuilding a fan base. And the team responded just like you said they would. The Manders woke up and WON today! Take a minute to appreciate that.” He took her hands in his, and looked at her with such kindness and concern. She wanted to kiss him so badly, and her inhibitions were much lower thanks to the straight bourbon. She could not go home with him tonight. She would definitely embarrass herself and cross boundaries they had set. It would be a big mistake.
“You’re right,” she said. It took all her energy to sound normal and sober. “We should take a minute to… Do what you said.”
“You’re putting way too much pressure on yourself and working non-stop. I wish you’d take a break now and then. At least let me take you home. Driving Harriet on dark backroads this late is dangerous.”
“I can make it. Don’t worry about me. But thank you. I mean it.”
“You won’t even let me give you a ride?” Carlton pushed gently. “Why not?”
Maddie wanted to tell him the truth, but she didn’t trust herself. She was being a coward tonight. Nina DiCaro would be ashamed of her. She was ashamed of herself and utterly miserable.
“I’m so sorry. I want to. I just can’t.” Maddie removed her hands from his. You have no idea how sorry! she thought.
“I don’t understand. But I’m always here if you need me, Maddie. You can tell me anything, I mean that. I trust you, and I hope you trust me. Please take care of yourself. Anyway, I guess I’ll be seeing you at Yacht Rock-Speed Dating Night sometime soon. Maybe Sal and Sally will find true love in a heart-shaped box of freeze-dried worms!”
He slung his backpack over one shoulder and left. Maddie sank back down on the couch, more angry with herself than ever. He had given her the perfect opening to talk to him, and she couldn’t do anything with it. Maybe she did just suck at romance, and Carlton would be better off with Mary Ann—the woman who had saved Harry Potter Day with her amazing science and recipe-detective skills. She was a fine person who deserved love, too.
Carlton was right about one thing. It definitely wasn't safe to drive Harriet back to Esme's house. No matter, Maddie could sleep here in the rec room until dawn. She closed her eyes expecting tears, but she had nothing. She curled up on the sofa and drifted off to the sound of Love Notes next tune:
Baby come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you.
Baby come back, you can blame it all on me.
I was wrong and I just can’t live without you.
RELATED ART
Art from Rob Mitchell (AI-generated image)
CASTING CALL
Author Nina LaCour is one of our favorite writers and people. The character “Nina DiCaro” is named for her and Chicago sports journalist and author, Julie DiCaro.
Nina’s not an actor, (that we know of), but we think that she’d make a splendid host of Love Notes. Her online writing course, Listen In, with co-teacher Elana K. Arnold is one of the best experiences any writer can have. You can find out more about it on her website. Nina has a new book, Meet Me in the Garden, coming soon. If you’ve never read her, we highly recommend it.
Julie DiCaro also has a terrific book out: Sidelined: Sports, Culture, and Being a Woman in America ...
BASEBALL INSPIRATION
Will Farmer, radio announcer of the Manders, was inspired by Ed Farmer, the radio play-by-play announcer for the White Sox for 30 years. He was an MLB pitcher from 1971 -1983. Farmer came from the South Side of Chicago and attended St. Rita’s Academy. His animosity toward the Yankees was legendary. He refused to report for a minor league assignment after being traded to the team and was sold to the Phillies instead.
Farmer was known for his dry sense of humor and quirky behavior on the air. He was also a passionate advocate for organ donation after he got a lifesaving kidney transplant from his brother in 1991. He partnered with Jesse White, Secretary of State for Illinois, for over a decade on driver’s license organ donation drives.
LIFE IMITATES FICTION
Just a few weeks after we came up with the Manders’ Yacht Rock Speed Dating Night, the Chicago White Sox announced a remarkably similar event on the South Side. Weird.
Want more yacht rock?
Watch Music Box: Yacht Rock: A DOCKumentary | HBO Max
Yacht Rock: A Dockumentary is a 2024 HBO Music Box series that explores the genre, featuring Christopher Cross, Michael McDonald, and Toto.
PLAYLIST
I'd Really Love to See You Tonight - YouTube
Daryl Hall & John Oates - Sara Smile (Official Audio) - YouTube
Magic (Remastered 2022) - YouTube
Escape (The Piña Colada Song) - 10. Rupert Holmes - YouTube
And finally, in honor of our fabulous web designer Sharon, who has done so much for Wilde Pitch, her personal yacht rock favorite:
Africa (Toto) - YouTube
